This morning, the beginning of fall called to me and my BFF,
I took a short ride to a place where sea oats lay instead of lawn, and
large beach cottages uniquely span themselves across lake frontage.
I was less than 5 miles from my home and I had never been there before.
The breeze, the temperature...the feeling of the "sea"...all translating again and again
into the magic of Lake Michigan. It took me to coasts I'd lived and seen before-California, Florida...Oregon...the East Coast.
At the end of the street is a point and a marina that I'd only known existed
looking across from the other side of the channel.
I passed the beach that I normally hike to, now realizing that the bike path led there as well. Most exciting, is that with a season pass,
I can come in the morning easily by car and paddleboard before my day begins.
This was only a dream in my mind until today.
I'd moved into this neighborhood two months ago, and already felt so comfortable
and satisfied that I'd stopped exploring.
It's amazing how sometimes we don't know what could improve the quality of our life- what dreams could be answered, until we take the smallest risk to go down a road
that is unexplored.
you,I love this quote by Rumi.
This is how it speaks to me...
All things I seek also want to be found. By me.
They are seeking me in return.
Believing that, then, is to also ask the question-
Why do I not have "it" in my life right now?
Or, why don't I have this "thing" that seems most important?
It is time and time again revealed to me that there is a certain order to life-
and, that often after I learn a lesson or experience a hardship,
I have an opportunity to revisit my dreams.
A dear friend once told me what her father, a minister, used to say...
"God answers prayers in one of three ways:
Yes; Not now; and...I have something better in store for you".
There is an honest knowing inside of me that not all things that
I claim to want...I truly feel ready to embrace-
holding them at arm's length for that reason.
One day famous life coach Tony Robbins came up on my YouTube playlist.
I knew of him, but was not familiar with any of his teachings or perspectives.
That week I listened to several of his seminar podcasts, an interview, and a coaching session-
all rather profound.
He shared the following (paraphrased from memory),
and it changed my life...
He said that if the blueprint for your life, and the life you are actually living
look too different,
then you will be in conflict and in pain.
He went on to say that if that is the case, you will either need to change
your blueprint, or change your life- typically you will have to change a little of both.
A switch flipped inside of me at that moment.
I had been carrying the same blueprint for over 30 years- unfulfilled.
I held it tight to this vision and told myself I would only settle for...
A husband, children, a house, a life centered around family.
I was 60, had no children of my own, and post hurricane, no house, no business- no job and no money.
But the real loss was that over the span of those 30 years,
I had a few sweet little cottages; a successful creative business;
amazing clients; a balanced life with dozens of true friends all over the country;
awesome siblings who are my friends; their beautiful children;
other beautiful children God had also put in my path;
And, two relationships both with wonderful men.
And yet- I felt ungrateful and unhappy deep inside, and turned away from all those gifts-
simply because it did not match the blueprint I'd created and held onto.
There was an almost immediate "shift" inside of me when I realized this-
a lightening of heart and an embracing of every single gift in my life.
That day, I asked myself..
"What do you want to design today as the architect of your life?"
That blueprint revision was long overdue.
My "blueprint" is now a true reflection of what I am living today.
It isn't a checklist, and it doesn't have to contain certain things for me to be happy.
It is what I already have in my life, and gratitude for it all.
I am an open canvas for the rest of my life and all that is yet to come.
I have dreams that cause me to strive and grow,
but they don't blind me from the life I am already living- they simply inspire me.
My favorite thing about the movie "Under the Tuscan Sun", is that she did in fact
draw into her life all that was in her heart and all that she dreamed of-
It looked different than the picture in her mind, so it took her time to recognize
that she truly already had everything she asked for.
What are you seeking...that is seeking you?